Quitting or Choosing Again

Way back in the olden days, when I was in high school, I was a do or die kind of girl. I had this silly idea in my head that if I couldn't be the absolute best at something then I wouldn't bother doing it at all. Sure did limit my fun.

I'm tall with long legs (can't really tell from my mug shot, can you?) I wasn't much for anything that required endurance, but I was fast. In middle school I always won a blue ribbon for the 50 yd. dash and any other sprint-type races that I entered. When I got to high school, my really great P.E. teacher, Mr. Lyons, just so happened to be the track coach. One day, after breaking some school records during class, Mr. Lyons said to me, "Cristi, why don't you go out for the track team?" Uh, er, why would I want to do that? What if I didn't win first place every time I entered an event? Wouldn't look or feel so good to me. "No, I'm way too busy for that."

The truth is, that was a perfectionist program I was running. Have to be the best to prove I'm worth something. But, hey, I'm done with that. I learned all about my "programs", why I needed them, and then cleared them out during my Rapid Eye sessions, and now I'm having a lot more fun and excelling if I choose to in whatever interests me. No pressure from the Itty Bitty Icky Committee anymore.

So, now to my confession. Way back on September 1st, my husband and I started the Body for LIFE program. He'd been reading about it and considering it for months, but I didn't know much about it, although I figured we'd both be more successful if we were doing it together. I was ready for a change and there was a $50K prize attached. I like money. So I signed up.

It took me a week or two to figure out exactly what I was doing, but that was okay. I did the daily fitness routines faithfully and logged every morsel I put into my mouth. By Thanksgiving, which was the day we were to finish, I was going to be fit and lean and feeling great. No doubt about it. Until about 3 weeks ago when I realized it wasn't working for me. So I quit.

Oops. That doesn't quite go with the perfectionist program thing. Quit? You've GOT to be kidding! What was I thinking? I'm no quitter. I'd committed myself. You don't just quit, but I did.

Truth be told, I was thinking very clearly. And I remembered, "I can choose again!" I analyzed my situation, which was this. I was really fighting the food program because it didn't feel right for me. I was required to eat 6 servings of protein a day, and it was too much for my system. And my stomach wasn't happy with the required supplements. I kept telling myself, "Just do it. You can endure this until Thanksgiving." But deep down inside, I was really unhappy and I hated logging my foods because I was miserable over it. I did enjoy the fitness part, even if we didn't get to it until 11:30 at night! Oh, I didn't want to let my husband down; we were in this together. We were champions, and we were a team. The program is working wonders for him (see his version of the story on his blog); he's looking and feeling terrific, but I knew I wanted something different. Something that inspired me. So I forgave myself for quitting, and I'm making another choice.

I've learned to keep my ears, eyes, and heart open to whatever messages are heading my way. For some reason, likely because God is so good to me, a discussion started on one of the online groups that I belong to. The name Christopher Westra surfaced, and the comments about him were a second witness after my husband's thoughts (who had attended a workshop Chris spoke at) that he was a pretty wonderful guy and he had a lot of good things going. There was talk of a new book he had out about eating and health, and my interest was piqued.

But hold on a second! It's holiday season. Really bad time to make a change (if that's what you choose to believe!). What about all of the mashed potatoes and plates of goodies the neighbors bring? Maybe waiting until January is best. When I can think again. But really now, do I want to go through another holiday season feeling like a car careening down the steep hill with it's steering malfunctioning? On Thanksgiving, just hand over the pumpkin pie and no one will get hurt. At the recital, I'll have just one double chocolate brownie; and seven little cookies. Over at the church dinner, I'll stick with one small square of fudge; and then six more because it's delicious. Hmmm. Maybe feeling in control around holiday time is a really good idea. I like that thought.

I got on Chris' website and found the Harmony Earth 30 Day Energy Diet ebook. I read a little about his ideas and decided this is what felt right for me. I purchased and downloaded it (along with 6 free bonus books!), and have been delighted by what I've skimmed through. And I'm ready to commit because I feel inspired when I'm flipping through the pages. The learning excerises are simple, and I can handle it. It is based on a 30 day challenge (with full money-back guarantee), implementing three of the principles each week. It supports my own ideas of eating whole foods in gratitude and support of the earth we live on, and more.

Here's a little excerpt:

"Some of the ideas in the book will challenge your traditional thinking. I encourage you to suspend your usual thinking about food, diet, health, and awareness and really consider the ideas presented here. These principles are the result of many years of study and experimentation. Whenever possible, I point you to other books for deeper study into specific areas."

Would now be a good time for you, too? Are you ready to experience a shift in your consciousness and experiences with food? Would you like to feel like you're guiding the sleigh during the holidays, instead of flying along out of control? If you'd like to join me, I'd love the company. I'll be starting this Wednesday, the 15th. That'll give you time to take a look and see what you think, and if it vibrates with your spirit, then download the book and join the journey. Let me know that you're coming along. There's joy to be found when friends travel together.

InJoy,
Cristi